“You won’t get far up the mountain wearing size nine boots if your feet are size ten.”

What does it mean to be successful? - To have a high paying job, to live in a great big fancy house, to drive an expensive car, to go on vacation every year, to own a yacht, to have a summer house? Is that what it means? - To have a family, to have a good paying job, to drive an SUV, to live in a nice house, to volunteer in your community, to vacation sometimes, to own a boat and snowmobiles? Is that what it means? - To be a Doctor, Lawyer, CEO, Senator or President? Is that what it means? - To be a Movie-Star, Professional Athlete, Recording Artist or an Author perhaps? Is that what it means to be successful?

Look Below the Surface

Sometimes I hear people say, “Look at him, he’s so successful!” or “Look at her, she’s so successful!” to which I usually respond something like, “Really? What makes you think that?” They usually give an answer like, “Well, he has a beautiful wife, beautiful children, a beautiful dog, he lives in a nice house, he has a great job, and he takes his family on vacation… Oh, just look at him. He has success written all over him!” But can success really be measured by what we see?  If so, what about the man who has a beautiful wife, but is on his third marriage, the one whose beautiful child is in rehab, whose beautiful dog isn’t house broken, who lives in a nice house that has been refinanced for 125% of its appraised value, who puts in 60 hours a week at the office, and who needs a week to recover from every vacation? Is he really successful?

If you’re thinking, “Well of course he’s not successful,” good for you.  It’s important for us to understand on the surface, a person can appear to be successful, but the true story of success is told far below the surface, where no one else can see. Many people appear to be successful, but are they really?

If we can’t see success, how can it be measured?  Very simply put, if you are going to measure success in your own life, you have to define what success means for you. Base your definition on what you think, not what society thinks or what you see on television; not what your mother, brother, sister, father, aunt, uncle, cousin or spouse thinks – not what your boss, teacher, pastor, counselor, neighbor or friend thinks, but what you think.

Think back to the last time you accomplished something you felt good about. Who was the first one to know you succeeded? You were. Now think back to the last time you felt disappointed when your attempts, to accomplish something, were unsuccessful. Who was the first one to know you failed? That’s right, you were. You are the only one who knows what’s going on beneath the surface of your life, so your definition of success must be specific to your own situation.

Get Your Priorities Straight

As you move forward, contemplating your success, and as you begin to make decisions that will start you on your way, take care to make decisions that are consistent with your definition of success. Set your priorities, and avoid decisions that create problems.

The following story illustrates my point.

Mike had always wanted to own a Corvette. It was on his “Things I Want” list, but something he couldn’t afford. Every time Mike saw a Corvette he would say, “One of these days, I’m going to have one of those.” For Mike, owning a Corvette symbolized success. Oh sure, Mike had a wife, children, a house and a pretty good job.  He had other dreams and goals associated with those areas of his life too, but that car… that car would be awesome!

Mike used to spend time every day, dreaming of that car. He could see himself racing down the highway, wind in his hair; king of the open road. He could see himself cruising through town, turning heads left and right. He could even hear the people say, “Wow, look at that car!  Who’s that driving? Is that Mike? It is! It’s Mike! He is so successful!” After he finished daydreaming, Mike would crunch the numbers again, figuring out how much money he needed to afford his dream car.

Then, one day Mike got a promotion at work, and a big enough pay increase (if he juggled a few other personal finances) to afford the payments on a new Corvette. Like many people, Mike had no shortage of things to spend the extra money on; important things, like increasing IRA contributions, saving for college tuition, new shingles for the roof and paying off a high interest credit card. However, like so many people before him have done, Mike chose to spend his extra income on the car he had always wanted.

The day Mike drove it off the lot, he felt like a million bucks. “Look at me!” he thought, “I’ve made it!” And so he had. Hadn’t he? Well, no. Not really.  What happened as a result of Mike’s decision to buy that car was nothing short of disaster. First of all, Mike’s celebration of success quickly came to an end the moment he pulled into the driveway and his wife saw the car.

He spent the next three hours vehemently defending his decision, and the next three days sleeping on the couch.  To add to his problems, Mike had miscalculated the costs of insurance and extra gas needed to get back and forth from work. His miscalculation meant that all of Mike’s monthly income was now being used to pay bills, and for the first time since he was a college student, Mike found himself living paycheck to paycheck. As the roof began to leak, and the credit cards reached their limit, and his marriage began to suffer, Mike began to realize that his decision to buy the car had been a mistake (although technically it was a goal of his, and people did say, “Wow look at Mike!”).

Even though he appeared to be successful, Mike didn’t feel successful. In fact, his decision to buy something he thought would make him look successful to others, had brought about multiple failures in other areas of his life. When Mike really thought about it, he knew those other areas meant more to him than any car ever could.

When you make decisions, remember our friend Mike, and carefully consider how those decisions affect the other areas of your life. If the achievement of one goal causes problems and set-backs in your life, you need to re-examine your priorities and redefine what success means to you. Success begets success; if you successfully achieve a goal in one area of your life, it will compliment and support your continued success in other areas.

Define Success on Your Own Terms

In today’s World, many people chase after success, trying to have, do, or be what someone else has, does, or is; only to discover, once they’ve arrived, they don’t feel successful at all. They will readily admit on the outside, they have success “written all over them”, but on the inside they, often times, feel empty and unfulfilled. Why?  It’s because they used someone else’s definition of success, instead of their own. You won’t get far up the mountain wearing size nine boots if your feet are size ten.

Regardless of the success you are looking for, whether in your career, business, group, organization, or personal life, it is vital that you define your own terms for that success. What is important to you is unique to your own set of circumstances. Your career goals, the mission of your business, group or organization, your relationships, family, friends, hobbies all are reliant on your understanding of what you hope to achieve. Success in these areas is impossible to gauge by any other view but your own.

Before you set out on your journey to succeed, make sure you’re wearing the right sized boots. Redefine the meaning of success for you, in your own life. Shut out everything you’ve heard and everything you’ve seen, and listen to what your insides tell you.

What size boots do you wear? What does success mean to you? What are you looking for in life? What do you want, and what’s important to you? What is your definition of success?

George J. Morse
Email: george@coachmorse.com
http://www.coachmorse.com

All rights reserved, 2007, Success University | Copyright 2007 George J. Morse